Using a feelings chart with young children (what actually works)

What a feelings chart is really for

A feelings chart isn't a test. It's a shared vocabulary. Its job is to give your child a way to point to something they can't yet describe - and to give you a way in that isn't 'what's wrong?'

Use it when things are calm, not just when they aren't

The mistake most families make is only pulling the chart out during a meltdown. That's the worst moment to ask a child to think.

Use it at breakfast. Use it after school. Use it while you're doing the dishes together. 'Which one is mine today? Which one is yours?' Little and often is what builds fluency.

Don't correct their answer

If your child says they feel angry and it looks like sadness to you, resist the correction. The point of the chart is that they choose. Being told they picked the 'wrong' feeling teaches them to stop pointing at all.

Pair it with a book that uses the same words

'The Feelings Remote' turns feelings into channels a child can switch between - a chart in story form. Children who see the same feelings in the story and on the wall pick them up much faster.